Jodoh

Assalamualaikum!

Weh,,,, what just happened? I mean, the last time i published my post, i think i just get out of a long and bad relationship, look at where i am today?!! Got engaged to a great guy, definitely my ideal boyfriend (fiancé)!! 

for real tho, he has exactly the characteristics that i've been searching for all this while hshshhss he looks just an average joe but perfect to my eyes *blushed*

don't get me started >:(

he loves me with all of his heart (ofcoz he should!), i am his first real love (proud moment), older than me (this!), being particular about his appearance and neat (omg yasss!), a thoughtful guy (such sexy mind), he knows exactly what i wanted and needed (kinda obsessed over him because of this one solid reason), he always do things for me WITHOUT being asked (my king serves!), treat me like a real gentleman (i deserve this fr) which means HE HAS A REAL FUNCTIONING BRAIN, HIGH EQ!!! OH GOD FINALLY I AM EXPERIENCING THIS <3 OKAY OKAY I WILL STOP SAYING "DEAR GOD, WHEN?" because i have it now :3

i do agree 100% when Ed Sheeran said "People fall in love in mysterious ways" because wait till i tell you on how do we met. 

on Twitter, with zero mutual, a stranger (him) randomly DM-ed me to ask about Nintendo Switch, now here we are. Glad he asked, glad he gathered up the courage to slide into the DM of a total stranger but cute girl, just to find a way to get to know her (me) better.

God make it really easy for us, alhamdulillah. He met my dad on our 2nd date, he insisted to greet my dad so i gladly let him do it. and we started the wedding thing discussion not long after that day. 

it's already 515 days since we're together :) counting days to our BIG DAY! ilysm <3

May Allah ease everything for us, and shower His blessings upon us till the end of life. amiin 

Cheers,

faam :)

Coping Mechanism

Assalamualaikum,

i do noticed since Q3 2019 my mind picked up an interesting coping mechanism towards negative emotions.

hurt me?
-lol okay

ditched me?
-huhu sad but cool ^^

mad at me?
-yeah what's next

disappointed?
-i suck it up & move on

I do feel the sadness, the disappointment, the sorrow and the anger but I managed to have it in control. It's not easy but I keep trying and trying.
my mind starts to understand that it's pointless to torture myself when they just don't care and they don't feel guilty bout it anyway.

i made the same shits towards others, too. we're flawed anyway.

don't suppress your feelings. it's okay to feel sad but it's not worth your precious time to prolong the grief over unnecessary shits.

not gonna lie, i can feel the improvement of my mental health when my mind changed the way it reacts towards negative feelings.

when you don't care that much, your energy can be focused on more important things that actually added value to your life 😉

Remember: You can't control people's actions, but you can control your reactions.

Let's rewire the mind 😗

I'm Back, again.

Assalamualaikum,

I'm back, again. berapa kali hiatus pun tak tahu dah hahaa but this time, 3 years hiatus. fuhh.

How's life, fellas? Hope you're doing great despite the shits 2020 keep throwing at us. fr.

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Mine is fine I think, better if I may.

Just got out of an exhausting relationship. uhm. 4 years huh.

I didn't deny that I truly loved him when we were together, but it's draining my energy at the same time to force myself to tolerate with his bs and incompetency.

Never again to settle for less when I know I deserve better. I know it at the very beginning, but I keep telling myself that things will be better. a joke.

I know my worth, mediocrity ain't it.

Proud of myself for having the ability to move on quite fast, based on my past romantic relationships. I mean, I have this mindset that I would control my mind to stop grieving over someone who don't even care. I don't wanna be seen as weak and pathetic. Heyy, I do grieved, but in moderate manner. I let it all go in one shot and live like a normal girl, again.

Don't get me wrong. This is how I cope with a heartbreak. I know everyone copes things differently, try to identify or know your pace, you'll get better eventually. If you need more time, plenty of it, just do it. As long as you keep trying and there's progress, I know you can do this. Just hit me up if you need someone to talk bout this.

Plus, I think one of the reasons why I redha with the fate that God has written for me is because I know I've tried my very best till the end to make it work, to fight for our relationship so that I would never felt "I wish i could do better" feeling. The regret would drag you down and slowdown your recovery.

If it's not meant to be, then it won't.

But remember, just because some people seem to move on easily, it doesn't mean they don't love hard enough. Only God know how hard we've loved one another. no ragretz.

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I'm happier now. I feel grateful for everything that has happened.

p/s: I'm truly sorry if I offended anyone through this post.

I'll talk about my new coping mechanism in the next post. See ya!

Judge

Assalamualaikum

Years ago, i am that kind of judgmental person, especially when i was judged by my own kind.
So, God wants to teach me to see things differently, but He makes me learned the hard way, experiencing those by myself.

I start to be more understanding when i put my own self in their shoes, i start to see things with different perspectives. i start to judge even less, because i know exactly how they feel.

We are all sinners, we just sin differently.

Hiatus

Assalamualaikum

hey there!

i'm sorry i never thought i would have gone on hiatus for this long, its more than a year really....

i've been busy with my new phase of life, now i do have my best listener to torture his ears by listening to my rant eheh.

 

i'm back. that's all matter now. (lol really?)

see you in my next post. salam.

Long Ride on Weekendz

If someone ever asked me to take a ride and go to my favourite place to stay, away from the things i used to do, to be honest, i dont know where will i'm gonna head to...

That, it was kinda pathetic tho.

Like, seriously faam?

Yup, i am that pathetic.

Okay, lemme see. i do like beaches, but i'm not so obsessed over 'em.

How about woods?

Hmm idk, i'm not really into forest and stuffs to be honest sorry i'm just a typical city girl. 

Wait....I've been thinking, stargazing could be in a list but yknow lah i never did it before sooooo i dont know if i could be so attached over it or not BUT IM DYING TO DO WITH SOMEONE I LOVE TO BE THE COMPANY BUT HOW LAH YOU TELL ME oh uh okay sorry for that lelz.

Yes, i would choose to take a long drive, away from the city....but wait, where exactly the best spot to stargaze around here? idk lah but any hill close to my house would definitely fine. 

.

.

.

.

.

Imagine yourself spread the blanket out on the grass and lying down with the refreshing and soothing dew smell under the dim moonlight and the crickets sound could be the best lullaby before you fall asleep while stargazing. 

Naaaahh, i would definitely prefer to stay on couch watching movies together. 
faam is being faam, my love must be a movie junkie as well!  

in before, sesungguhnya berangan tu percume, pedehal.

p/s: i dont mind to do some boring stuffs as long as i'm doing it with someone i love. Yeah typical but thats the fact. Go find yourself a good another-half you would love to spend your entire life with. 

Good luck, fellas! 

faam

She

She knew it. She knew there will be something. She wasnt say that she was so sure bout it,
it just you cant deny something that your heart feels. They connected from the start, and 
of course he did touched her heart ever since.
.
.
.
"I dont know if i want you.", she said.
"But i know i dont want anyone else to have you.", she added.
.
.
.
She put the least expectation she could ever thought from him; so there's no ones heart will be broke.
She always say to herself, "How terrified it could be when everyone could just get up and leave you at any moment when you were so attached." So she just prepared herself for the worst.
.
.
.
Mistakes were made, lessons were learned.

faam

Movies

You know what, i just realized that if i cant share my probs to my buddy, i tend to channel my sorrow and grief by watching sad movies and no one will ever questioned why the hell i'm weeping and crying my lungs out lol well at least it soothes me hewheww

faam

Cry

"You don't really know someone unless you've cried with them." -- Art, Monster University 

I guess he's right. We opened up to someone we trust, someone we really know by heart, well at least that's what we thought, right?

How innocent we were.....
.
.
.
Did i just gave you the mixed signals? Aaahh my bad!

faam

ENG

Aku perati je beberapa orang yang aku kenal ni obses dengan Jepun dah bertahun-tahun, dari kecik ahh dan depa end up dapat study sana, menetap kat sana. Alhamdulillah rezeki depa.

Aku pulak boleh masuk kategori obses dengan Britain, British gentlemen, Britpop, London, Arsenal dan yang asal boleh ada kaitan dengan England la senang kabor. Ayat depa wayyy too polite ah kalau nak compare dengan US yang ass tu huhuu. Pulak tu, aku dah lama gigih pasang niat nak keje kat sana, or further study kat situ or paling-paling pun, backpacking ah seminggu dua kat situ, kira #lifegoal ah. 

Tapi tu lah, aku plan je ni, tengok jauh mana plan aku menjadi. Tuhan kan best planner. Harap-harap Dia terima plan aku. Amiin hehe.

Tak salah pun berangan, free je kan? :")

faam